I Broke Down In Front Of My Clients

by | 3rd December 2019

Keep it real they say! Well, I have always considered myself real and transparent.  Sharing my wins for sure but I also share my lows too. That is generally when I am through them and not in the middle of them.

All the work I have done with my Angels, different healing modalities and of course good old self-development means I can process things quickly. Then I show up and share what I have learnt.

Best Laid Plans

Life doesn’t always go to plan and if you are one of my clients working closely with me 1:1 or in Abundance Club, you will know this year has been a really tricky one for me.

Being as sensitive and empathic as I am, problems don’t need to even be mine to affect me. Even with the best will and practice, some things still hit hard.

My life has had a lot of changes recently and they have not been all bad; some for the best and some amazing. After all, I became a Nana for the first time, that is still incredible.

In the middle of all this my parents needed a lot of support. My dad was ill again, most of the year that has been on and off.  Plus, my daughter’s partner fell from a ladder and ended up with two legs in casts.  At the time they had a 2 week old baby to take care of. Then under the strain of all that, my relationship broke down.

Spinning Plates

I was spinning lots of plates and trying to support everyone as best I could. The nitty gritty of what was happening to my family is not the point of this blog, it’s to illustrate that feeling of overwhelm. I know we all suffer from that from time to time.

Life was consumed with hospital visits and caring for everyone else. In the middle of it all my heart was hurting and I was calling upon my Angels to support me. They are so good at emotional things and they were holding me together pretty well.

Two-Way Street

Whilst all this was happening I still had my business to run and clients to serve and support too.  In fact, my business was the saving grace, I could come to my desk and forget about everything that was going on.

That was until I had a 1:1 with a client one day.  We did an awesome healing session and afterwards she was so lovely to me and asked was everything OK? It was her niceness that did it, her genuine concern.  Then she hit me with it: “I know you are there for us in Abundance Club, but we are there for you too. We all know you haven’t been yourself and I just wanted to check you are OK”.

Oh wow!  That was it, all the holding it together. I wasn’t purposefully trying to be strong I just couldn’t actually cry and release it all. I would well up and then stop. I knew it would come out eventually but it took a whole month.

I felt so much better and she asked me to open up to the Club members as she knew they wanted to support me too.

Honestly, I couldn’t believe it. I had in my head this professional persona who couldn’t show up upset. I couldn’t be that real and honest and say how I felt until it was over with and I had processed it. I thought I was going to be judged for being upset.

Time To Share

So, feeling a lot better and thinking I had released all the emotion, I thought OK I will do it! I jumped on a live with my club members and told them, yes, life was really hard right now. Plus, in the middle of it the relationship that I thought was going to be my forever relationship had come a grinding halt!

Well you can probably guess it, I cracked again and broke down on a live with all my members. You can also probably guess they were all lovely and the support I received blew my mind.

Life Lesson

I learnt so much that day the biggest thing being that I have awesome clients and the only judging going on is my own.

If you are struggling with overwhelm and feel like I did, like you are just treading water and need to keep afloat, here are some of the things that kept me going:

1. I remembered that nothing is forever, it will always change.

2. I squished ‘me time’ into things; like reading a book in the hospital car park before going in to visit my dad, which also gave my parents time together.

3. I kept up my daily practice even if I cut corners with it, I never missed one days meditation.

4. I drank lots of water and even if I ate badly I didn’t beat myself up about it.

5. I chatted more to my Angels and kept asking for their help.

6. I found time to journal and write down how I was feeling. It was amazing how fast that changed from day to day.

7. I played as much uplifting music as possible.

Remember too, your Angel is wonderful at helping you and if you want further support with connection or coaching please get in touch as I have places opening up.


If you want to learn what a daily practice can do for you, Abundance Club is the place to hang out where I can support you to create yours.

Not ready for the club yet?  Grab one of my free resources to help you on your journey.

Amanda Tooke, also known as “The Angel Mystic” is a Spiritual Teacher to people with big dreams.  Amanda is also a Reiki Master, a published author and has featured on television, radio and columnist for Fate & Fortune Magazine. Amanda is the creator of The MAP – Manifesting Abundance Process that she teaches in her membership site Abundance Club. Amanda also runs 5 * Angels in Anglesey Exclusive Spiritual Retreats, plus various online programmes and 1:1 work encompassing Angels, Spiritual Development and the Law of Attraction and the energy of Passion!

Contact her at info@mystic-moon.co.uk or visit her website where you will find lots of free resources  https://www.theangelmystic.co.uk/.


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