Selfish Self-Care

Self-care can be classed as selfish and it often is. But rightly so. Self-care, self-esteem, self-confidence and your net self-worth are all linked.

As a mum, daughter, partner, sister, friend and entrepreneur with a large clientele I have often found self-care feels too self-indulgent. I have been guilty as charged in the past with putting myself on the bottom of the pile. Putting the needs of others before my own. But not anymore as I have been working hard on it in recent years. Just recently I have realised how far I have come.

The Angels have had their part to play in this too. As their love is unconditional. When we work with our Angels they can help us to love ourselves too. Their guidance is that we need to be in the best possible place to help and serve others. However, when we put our needs over someone else’s thus compromising our own self-care it has a negative effect. It means we are not in the best possible place to help others.

Imagine for a moment you are needing help with something. It could be emotional or physical help you need and you have a choice of asking two friends. The first friend is the one who is strong, understands boundaries, takes great care of themselves and is well supported and well connected to The Upstairs. Or you can ask your other friend who is running themselves ragged helping everyone and has no time for themselves. Which would you prefer to help you? More importantly, which would also be able to help you the most?

I know which I would prefer. The point I am making is self-care is not selfish in fact it is essential. If you don’t recognise the importance of that no one else will either.


Not in the Zone

I recently had one of those weeks. I was out of alignment and things kept going wrong. It got to Friday afternoon and I had to just walk away from my desk as I knew I would get nothing done in the frame of mind I was in. Thankfully, it was not a client day so the only things I was ditching for the afternoon were admin tasks. I have to say though some of the tasks were really important, but energy is everything to me and if I worked on them in that state of mind the end result would be very different.

I already had a pedicure booked in later that day, it was like I must have known in advance I would be out of my manifesting zone at that time and needed some ‘me’ time.

I downed tools before my treatment and did what I tell all my clients to do. I journaled on the issue. I meditated. I took time for me. It wasn’t shifting though. I was still attracting issues and problems all around me.

I went to the salon for my treatment. It was the first time I had been to this particular salon, and in my head, I grumbled all the way through my treatment. Picking faults all the time, it was like I couldn’t stop myself manifesting negative thoughts.

I took a drive out, played my happy tunes and slowly but surely thankfully it started to shift. I realised I had let this go on too long. The whole week had been a slippery slope of things not flowing like they normally do. I wasn’t feeling like I was expanding at that moment, I was stuck and blocked. Then it hit me, I was upper limiting. My energy was out of alignment with the new expansion I was going through.

I am changing lots in my business at the moment so I can go to the next level and it’s hard with new systems that I have to learn. With my old systems I could do everything, now with my new team I have to trust they will do it for me, whilst I learn the new ropes.

I knew what I wanted still but whilst my energy was out of alignment with the end result it was always going to feel sticky and uncomfortable.

The dropping of everything that Friday was so important as nothing is more important than how I feel. I felt stressed, overwhelmed and stuck. I should have done it much earlier in the week but instead, I struggled through, ignoring my needs.


Weekend Off

So I made plans for the rest of the weekend, as I was going to work and get stuck into the new systems. I was supposed to be cooking dinner for the family, but I cancelled it and offered to get take-out. I sent a very honest message to my daughter saying I couldn’t cook because I was stressed and cooking and I don’t always get on that well, so I knew that was an extra stress I could do without. I could have easily thought well I am Mum and they are expecting a nice meal, I will have to do it, but I didn’t.

Here is what happened, when I surrendered to the feelings, the feelings started to change. When I reached out for help, the help came. My daughter offered to cook which meant I could take more time to get myself back into alignment and back into my manifesting zone.

I took the whole of Saturday off and went to a fabulous event with a friend. I went to bed Saturday night feeling great with the intention of catching up with all my work on Sunday.

By the time Sunday came I was still feeling upbeat but knew I still needed more ‘me’ time, so I took it. I took the whole day for me again, I meditated, sunbathed, read and spent time in my hot tub.

Sure there were jobs around the home that needed to be done but if I didn’t need to do it I didn’t.

I even manifested us all getting asked out for dinner too, so yet another night of not cooking. That is when I knew I was back in full alignment, back to feeling strong and connected.

All the things I was stressing over on Friday that were going wrong, I could now see what I needed to do with them all. The answers had arrived because I took great care of me. Taking time to do that self-care listening to what I needed for me, instead of fighting and battling on, meant I soon got myself back to where I needed to be to serve and support others.

This is what I teach in my programmes and 1:1 work. Self-care is a priority and one that should not be overlooked. If you want to help others as best you can make sure you look after you first. It is that old analogy of the air hostess on the plane who says “if the emergency masks come down make sure you put yours on before helping others”, as you can’t help anyone else if you can’t breathe.

If you’d like my FREE Angel Meditation as part of your self-care practice, here’s the link: